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Out of the mouths of old people
‘I saw a full on drug deal in broad daylight in the Tesco carpark, they weren’t even trying to be discreet.’ I said one Saturday morning, as I put the bags on the kitchen table. ‘What kind of drugs?’ ‘I dunno, weed I suppose.’ ‘They can come round here, we’ve got lots of weeds!’ ‘Definitely…
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Explaining the inexplicable
This is one of the most infuriating things about being a carer. Because, unless you have experienced it, it is impossible to understand or relate to our experiences. The biases we all have creep in the opinions we form.
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Who are you going to throw money at?
For those who think they’ll be able to pay for care – I have (bad) news: there is a huge lack of paid carers in the UK, there are about 165,000 vacancies in the adult care sector. Which begs the question: when the worst happens, who are you going throw money at? If the private…
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It takes a cul de sac
You know the saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child’? Well, it turns out the same is true for looking after the elderly. More precisely, it takes a cul de sac. Moving up to Lancashire from London has shown me the value of local communities and friendly neighbours. When I lived in London,…
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The real undateables
I think I got chatted up recently. It hasn’t happened for so long that I wasn’t sure what was happening and I didn’t know how to react
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Daddy issues
The result is that I haven’t spoken to my father in about a year and half, and if truth be told, I hate him. I hate his selfishness, his rejection, his lack of action, I hate that he chooses to ignore the problem and that he consciously puts himself first every single time and in…
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Eye of the Grandma
Grandma is, for all intent and purposes, as blind as a 98-year-old bat. Macular degeneration has slowly robbed her of her sight and she is understandably finding it tough to come to terms with.
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Missed life flight
As I was redoing their beds for the second time, it struck me that the feelings we experience when our flights get cancelled are a lot like those of being an unpaid carer. Except you don’t get to have a nice latte from Pret at the airport; and there is no airport; and no aeroplane;…
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You’ve got a friend
I’m really touched by that gift, and it makes me realise how lucky I am to have supportive friends. I have friends all over the world and I feel privileged to be part of their lives.
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Interview with Katy Styles, founder of the We Care Campaign, the Jack Russell of carers organisations
So, We Care was born, starting with a digital community on a laptop on my kitchen table via a Google Hangout call. No Zoom then! We have since grown to thousands of followers across the UK. Because of our size, we can be responsive and deal with tough topics other carer charities shy away from,…
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Caring has a PR problem
There are only two types of people in the UK (and the world, I’d venture to say) unpaid carers and soon-to-be-unpaid-carers. My mission is to speak to the latter group to get them to help us get the government’s attention to create tangible change. For all of us.
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Swimming hippos and goat legs
I have previously tried to get her to understand social media but we’ve only managed to get as far as: ‘being on Facebook is not the same as being on TV’.
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Below bees
Did you know the UK government has a national strategy for bees but there isn’t one for the millions of unpaid carers?
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Joan Scissorhands
What is it with old people and gardening centres? In my experience, they absolutely love them. The very nice neighbour took my grandma and the other very elderly lady in the cul de sac to a gardening centre this week for their lunch. I was delighted as I didn’t have to cook and grandma was…
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Fuelled by rage
You know what really pisses me off? Whenever I type the word ‘carer’, it autocorrects to ‘career’. Apart from the annoying practicality of having to correct the word each time, it implies that the word isn’t a recognised one and therefore, not a real thing. And irony of ironies, it changes the word to ‘career’…
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Joan Hollywood
The Great British Bake off is back! I love that show, it is comforting and perfect viewing for all ages. There is something very relaxing about watching contestants freak out over a sponge cake or an over-whipped buttercream. After protesting she didn’t ‘watch that rubbish‘ , grandma reluctantly agreed to watch an episode with me
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A moment of Zen
I’m a morning person. Or I was before I became a carer, now I’m more of a very-tired-but-my-brain-functions-better-in-the-morning person. I have developed a ritual to accommodate my morning person tendencies, I get up early and, after I have got grandma settled with her pills and breakfast, I go out for a pre-work walk. I walk
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That’s the way the carer crumbles
I scared myself last week. For a whole day, I couldn’t function. I felt an overwhelming tiredness, I couldn’t think straight and caught myself zoning out several times during the day. I struggled through my daily tasks doing the bare minimum at work (I had particular trouble writing emails and had to take breaks halfway
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Grandma-isms
It has been a while since I last shared some grandma-isms. I write down all the funny things she says so here are the latest things she has uttered that won’t get either of us cancelled. I hope you enjoy 🙂 — ‘The nuns are selling Canipus!’ Said grandma as I put a plateful of
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Party of one
You don’t have to read this blog. I’m just writing down what I can’t express to get this feeling out of my body. I’m not sure it will work, can you get loneliness off your chest? I’m always alone, I’m an introvert and have always been relatively solitary. Never the life of the party, even
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Same, but different
Last week was exciting for me, I was invited to take part in a panel discussion on the impact of caring on mental health in London. Spoiler alert – it is not great. If you want to understand how caring affects me mentally, you can read some of my more miserable blogs here, here and
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Pity party
It’s my birthday today. I hate it. I hate the expectation of it. According to everyone, I should have the ‘best day ever’ and have a big party with lots of friends. Instead, I did what I always do (work and care) with the added bonus of syringing grandma’s urine at 6am to take to
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Fairly bad
I feel like we all need to take a good look at ourselves. What is wrong with us?! As the very visible displays of hate and discrimination loomed large over the UK recently, Carers UK released a piece of research that was (accidentally, I imagine) incredibly timely. Their research found that a fifth of carers
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An unbelievable offer
A great opportunity has arisen to join a growing team of creative, dedicated people looking to make a difference. If that sounds like something you’re interested in, read on! What you’ll be doing: Skills required: What you’ll get: We’re keen to hear from you! Send in your application today. Right- that’s enough silliness – you
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Number Eighteen, in the corner 