Number Eighteen, in the corner

Blog Posts

  • Carer servitude

    They say ignorance is bliss. They, whoever they are, were right. I shouldn’t have read Carers UK’s report on carer poverty, it made me sad and filled me with rage. Not knowing how to react, my brain decided to make me swear in French (my default rage setting) all the way through reading it. The

    Read More

  • Learningz

    This is my 100th blog, which considering I don’t have time to brush my hair – let alone write, is quite a feat for me. I quickly scrolled through my list of blogs and was reminded of how much I’ve learnt since I’ve started these online rambles. This also gives me an excuse to bust

    Read More

  • Blind rage

    Grandma struggles with her declining vision and often takes out her frustration on inanimate objects, particularly the new toaster, during breakfast. Although she desires independence, her inability to perform simple tasks leads to humorous yet challenging incidents. Her persistence in resisting helpful solutions highlights her desire for autonomy amidst her limitations.

    Read More

  • Carefluence

    Those of you who read this blog regularly know that my aim is to raise awareness of unpaid carers and the issues they face. I try to keep my tone light and authentic, throwing in the odd funny grandma story for good measure. In my quest to produce relatable content on the not-so-relatable, I interviewed

    Read More

  • Party pooper

    The narrator struggles with planning their grandmother’s 100th birthday party, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by their father’s lack of initiative. Despite initial reluctance, they ultimately become involved to ensure the celebration goes well, confronting their father’s neglect of responsibilities. Humor arises from cultural misunderstandings during the planning.

    Read More

  • Turkey Target

    Grandma almost died two weeks ago. No joke. She developed pneumonia and fluid on her lungs, and was fighting for every breath. Her oxygenation levels were very low and I was debating calling an ambulance. I had to break out the tears at the GP’s receptionist to get a home visit from a real life

    Read More

  • Self Care(r)

    Self-care as a carer – tricky business. It is very complicated but not impossible. Before the unpaid carers reading this roll their eyes and stop reading, let me qualify what I mean. A carer’s definition of self care is different. We never get enough sleep (some days not at all), we don’t have time to

    Read More

  • Yeah, right!

    Carers’ Rights Day highlighted the neglect of unpaid carers’ rights, as revealed by a report from The We Care Campaign and Carers Trust. Rights such as requesting leave, flexible working, and consultations during hospital discharges remain largely unrecognized and unsupported, causing immense frustration for carers. Inaccessibility raises questions about the true nature of ‘rights’.

    Read More

  • The No Health Service

    In November and December 2024, Laura, a carer for her grandmother, navigates a challenging hospital experience filled with delays and inadequate care. Despite support from her team at work, she struggles with stress and her own health issues while advocating for her grandmother’s proper treatment amid a disorganized medical system.

    Read More

  • New year, more life?

    The author reflects on Kim Kardashian’s aspirations for 2025, contrasting them with the realities faced by unpaid carers, who often lack personal lives and ambitions. They express a desire to engage in meaningful work to raise awareness for unpaid carers and improve social care, inviting collaboration and ideas for impactful actions.

    Read More

  • Unhelpful help

    The author recounts a frustrating experience with their father, who unintentionally disrupted their heating during a stressful workday. This leads to advice for friends of caregivers, emphasizing the importance of practical assistance, understanding, and maintaining connections. Suggestions include asking for help, enabling breaks, and sharing life updates to foster supportive friendships.

    Read More

  • Hug it out

    The author expresses deep feelings of loneliness despite living with their grandmother, whom they care for alone. They crave physical connection, particularly hugs, and reflect on the lack of meaningful social interactions. Their role as a caregiver adds to their isolation, leading to a profound sense of emptiness and yearning for human connection.

    Read More

  • A Rose-y invitation

    The author critiques Lord Rose’s view that remote work diminishes productivity, sharing personal experiences as an unpaid carer and employee. They argue that productivity can thrive in remote settings and point out systemic issues, such as the failing social care system, which necessitate flexible work policies. Their insights challenge generalizations about work environments.

    Read More

  • Common cents

    The author celebrates their grandmother’s 100th birthday and reflects on key factors contributing to her longevity. These include good genes, anxiety, daily wine consumption, strong friendships, a sense of humor, grumbling, adaptability, a unique sleep routine, and a forward-looking mindset. The author’s care is also highlighted as significant for her well-being.

    Read More

  • Workspite

    The author reflects on their airport experience while traveling to the AI Action Summit in Paris. After a long hiatus from travel, the excitement of being away from their caregiving role provided mental refreshment. They emphasize the importance of enabling unpaid carers to work, highlighting the emotional benefits of reconnecting with the outside world.

    Read More

  • Grand con

    My workspite trip ended last week and I’m back to caring. I don’t know who is more distraught about it, me or grandma. I’m struggling with going back to the isolation and the constant worry, care and work; and grandma is unhappy she can’t fool anyone at meal times anymore. I spotted the con immediately.

    Read More

  • Tunnel Vision

    *Warning- the following post is miserable, feel free to skip this one if you’re already having a tough time.* Did you know you can get a rash under your eyes from crying? I didn’t. I’ve been bawling my eyes out for over a week. Crying, caring and working; sometimes all three at the same time

    Read More

  • One of a kind

    Last Saturday, I took my grandmother to brunch, balancing errands with her care. Although many people praised my efforts, I felt overwhelmed and frustrated, questioning society’s view of caregiving as solely a “kind” act. I appreciate the support from strangers but believe recognition of the challenges faced by caregivers is essential.

    Read More

  • Hair-xiety

    The narrator experiences anxiety while managing her responsibilities as a caregiver for her elderly grandmother. Attending a long-overdue hair appointment, she faces challenges with timing amidst the busy salon. Ultimately, she rushes home without fully enjoying the experience, highlighting the struggles caregivers face in balancing self-care and responsibilities.

    Read More

  • Hero journos

    I’m going to say it again- unpaid carers are not heroes. We’re trapped, tired, and ignored. Some people who work at the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) even think we’re criminals – also not true, obvs. This Carers Week, I want to highlight some real heroes: the journalists who cover stories about unpaid carers

    Read More

  • No life list

    I love lists. I write many throughout the week on bits of paper, on my phone and even write reminders for myself to either action an item on add one to the list. In the busy life of a carer, if it isn’t on the list – it doesn’t happen. I recently saw a friend

    Read More

  • Capable Carers

    The author reflects on a recent promotion at work while caring for their grandmother, emphasizing that unpaid carers are capable individuals beyond their caregiving roles. They criticize media portrayals that reduce carers to stereotypes, advocating for more nuanced, relatable stories that capture their complexities and struggles, aiming to foster understanding among non-carers.

    Read More

  • Care.AI?

    The article discusses the use of AI robots in elder care in Japan, highlighting their efficiency benefits alongside concerns about emotional attachment and privacy issues. Ivana Bartoletti emphasizes that AI should support, not replace, human care, pushing for thoughtful integration while addressing the systemic challenges in caregiving and prioritizing human dignity in technology.

    Read More

  • Miserably Misunderstood

    The author reflects on the challenges of being a carer, feeling misunderstood and isolated. Despite gratitude for support, they express frustration with those who cannot relate to their experiences. They emphasize the importance of being heard and believed, while highlighting the need for greater understanding from non-carers about their struggles and demands.

    Read More

  • It’ll do

    The narrator reflects on their struggle with perfectionism while caring for their grandma during the holiday season. Despite feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, they realize that not everything needs to be perfect. Embracing imperfection, they acknowledge the importance of prioritizing care and well-being over unattainable standards amidst festive pressures.

    Read More