Tag: social care

Turkey Target

Nov 13th, 2024

Grandma almost died two weeks ago. No joke. She developed pneumonia and fluid on her lungs, and was fighting for every breath. Her oxygenation levels were very low and I was debating calling an ambulance. I had to break out the tears at the GP’s receptionist to get a home visit from a real life doctor, got a variety of strong medication, and the usual doctor’s quip about trying to keep her out of hospital as ‘she’ll die of an infection in there… and you’ll be waiting for days in corridor‘ he added as an afterthought.

Scary stuff.

I really thought she was going to die, she was effectively drowning. She was so weak, couldn’t talk, and looked ready to give up. The first few days were terrible and I was round-the-clock nursing (and working, obvs, because I can’t actually use my unpaid carers leave in practice- grandma forgot to give me fair warning so I could give my employer the required notice. She needs to get better at that).

During that time, I simply tried to give her her medication and keep her relatively comfortable and calm. We weren’t really making any progress until the antibiotics started to kick in a little, still unable to breath well enough to talk, she breathlessly whispered the word ‘turkey’ to me.

‘What did you say, grandma?’ I asked quietly, thinking my sleep deprivation was making me hallucinate.

‘Tur….key.’ She answered, after several attempts.

‘Turkey? For Christmas? Don’t worry about that. I’ll order it. You have to get better first. Yes?‘ I answered, reassuringly.

From then on, I knew she was using that very important Christmas-turkey-ordering-at-the-butchers job as motivation to fight; to make an effort to get better. When you’re 99, can’t breathe, and have been in bed for several days, you develop other issues such as pressure sores, swollen legs, very reduced mobility to name just a few. Even lifting her head required a huge effort.

Knowing her inside out, I started using this turkey motivation to gently push her to try to do more, sit up for a few minutes, try to move her legs, and eventually to eat something with her medication etc. I saw the huge efforts she was making, the pain she was in, and the panic in her eyes when she couldn’t catch her breath. But she kept going. And going. And then tried some more. I was so impressed by her grit and resilience, it would have been so easy to just give up. I made sure to celebrate every effort and small victory to keep her motivation up and set new goals.

Two weeks later, and she’s feeling much better. She still has a long way to go but she is gaining her strength back, and starting to fight me about taking her pills- a sure sign we’re on track to achieve the Turkey Target. This ordeal got me thinking about the extraordinary strength and resilience of the people we care for. As unpaid carers, we get daily demonstrations of courage and of sheer will power. Yes, we’re sometimes too tired, overwhelmed, or stressed to see it, but I wanted to acknowledge this in this blog. The people we care for rarely have their own voices heard and we really don’t have any idea of what they experience everyday. I will try to remember that more often, that my grandmother is a bit special. She is as tough as the toughest of old boots, and is not ready to give up yet. She is still fighting with herself every day to get better, to breathe, and to walk, using her inexhaustible well of determination.

To all the people we care for: we see you. We love you. You inspire us to do more and keep fighting for the help you deserve. You’re exceptional.

P.S:… but *please* take your meds. Jesus.
Carer servitude

Sep 19th, 2024
They say ignorance is bliss. They, whoever they are, were right. I shouldn’t have read Carers UK’s report on carer poverty, it made me sad and filled me with rage. Not knowing how to react, my brain decided to make me swear in French (my default rage setting) all the way through reading it.

The report highlighted that:
- 1.2 million unpaid carers live in poverty, and 400,000 live in deep poverty in the UK.
- Two-thirds (67%) of unpaid carers who receive Universal Credit live in poverty – around 900,000 carers.
- The poverty rate is more than double for those providing more than 35 hours of care per week (43%), compared to people who are not unpaid carers (18%).
Merde, c’est pas possible!

We don’t deserve this. Being driven into poverty for providing care the government should is criminally unfair. The words ‘economically inactive’ caught my eye – this insidious wording implies that all the work carers do doesn’t matter. We’re just keeping people alive over here, not making more money for big corporations, so we don’t matter. The (literally) vital work most of us don’t want to do doesn’t deserve compensation.

Putain de merde!

We’re forced into a kind of caring servitude that can ruin lives. Think I’m being dramatic? Let’s look at the facts:
- We are not paid for our work – some of us can claim the Carers’ Allowance of £81.90 per week. You try living off that.
- Our labour is forced – we do it because we have to, not because we want to.
- We’re not free to leave- if we do, the people we care for will most likely die.
- We’re on call 24/7 – no breaks, weekends or holidays.
Sounds like servitude to me, non? The government is, at the very least, enabling this situation. And nobody cares, because it is easier not to think about it and nobody wants to believe they are at risk of becoming an unpaid carer.

Incidentally, if we called our situation ‘carer servitude’ rather than the more gentle ‘unpaid carer’, we might get a bit more attention. Even if it was to say we’re exaggerating , it would at least start a debate.

I’ll leave you with Jane’s words in the report:

‘I am working really hard, harder than most people work three
times the jobs that they’re doing in the hours. So why can’t we just be recognised for that. I’m unable to work because of my caring role.
So pay me a wage. If I could go to work, I would, but I can’t. Economically inactive. I’d like to see them try and do what we do…‘

P.S: Notice I didn’t say ‘sacré bleu‘ – no French person says that, not even ironically.
A rising tide

Mar 28th, 2024
‘A rising tide lifts all boats.’ I hate that expression. Not because it doesn’t sound true, but because a big boss used it once in a company I used to work for which led to many middle managers parroting it, mostly out of context, for months afterwards; it drove me mad.

Anyway, I digress. This expression is helpful for what I want to talk about today. This week, unpaid carers and the exorbitant cost of care has been in the news, courtesy of ITV’s Kate Garraway’s documentary about caring for her very ill husband. In a heartbreaking display, the documentary shows the toll caring takes, and her fight against the nearly non-existent social care system. Depressingly familiar themes for the millions of unpaid carers across the country.

Before her husband died in January, the cost of her husband’s (private) care came to £16,000 per month. She has been left in debt despite her considerable TV salary. I took a look at the reactions to the documentary on social media, curious to see what the soon-to-be-unpaid-carers thought. I saw a lot of messages of support saying it was ‘heartbreaking’, that we must support these ‘heroes’ and the system needs to be fixed. There were a few trolls too but the less said about them, the better.

I hate to say this, but these well-meaning messages are useless. We know it is heartbreaking. We get it. It is very sad and good on Kate for using her platform for good. But now is the time to act. Tweeting is not going to help fix this. Heartbroken emojis will do nothing. To those nice people who were moved to share their thoughts on social media by that documentary, here are three things you can do to help:
- Do your research. Find out what provisions are available in your local area. Speak to your local council about the social care provisions where you live. When you find out they are probably dreadful, look up local private care companies. How much do they charge? Do they have capacity? How do you get in touch with district nurses? Etc. Make a list and keep it – you *will* need it.
- Save your money. Assume there is no help. While you’re still earning, save what you can every month in a care pot. If someone who earns several hundred thousands pounds a year can’t afford private care, you won’t be able to either but your savings will help bridge the gap while you’re battling the system.
- Help us help you. You are likely to become an unpaid carer. Accept that. I know you might disagree or don’t want to think about it, but it is going to happen. So supporting unpaid carers will help you when you join our ranks. Support charities, sign petitions, get involved with volunteering, email your local MP. Help us make this an electable issue. In short, act. That’s the only way to make a difference.
In this case, supporting unpaid carers helps everyone, this caring tide will lift all boats. More support for unpaid carers means better social care and better healthcare, which means you’ll have help when you need it.

Here are some links to get you started:
If you’re in the UK, you can watch the documentary here: https://www.itv.com/watch/kate-garraway-dereks-story/10a1610

Outside the UK, you can read about it here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-68656222
Scareffolding

Mar 21st, 2024

Reading the news really isn’t good for me. I get too angry, and then have to write a rant about it. Lucky you, dear reader.

I read an article about a report MPs have done on adult social care in England. I already know the system is broken but I was curious to see what the MPs had to say about it. They didn’t hold back; you know you’re in real trouble when politicians are using words like ‘woeful’, ‘chronic’ and ‘underfunding’. The Department of Health and Social Care’s (DHSC) quote was predictably weak and said nothing to respond to the concerns raised. This is the part that got me angry – their lacklustre response to this report is indicative of their whole attitude towards this issue. They don’t seem to care, ironically.

Why can’t the UK government get social care and healthcare right or at least on the right track? For me, it is down to two things – breathtaking incompetence and / or lack of political will.

I would really like to understand why the idea of properly run and funded social care and health services is such a seemingly unimportant thing for the government. Surely, we deserve to be well cared for in our time of need? Why is this so tricky politically? Wouldn’t that be a legacy to be proud of? Maybe I’m too French on these things, but I get the feeling that social care is considered as a second class issue. Maybe because it is a difficult issue to think about if you’re not experiencing it directly? Is it correlated with weakness?

I understand the poisonous arguments made by some on people abusing the system and ‘profiting’ from the state, but in its current condition, I don’t think there is much to profit from. Unless you count certain baronesses, who seem to be experts in that area, if press reports are to be believed. And they allegedly made hundreds of thousands or even millions of pounds in profits. The DHSC is also very good at wasting money, writing off a cool 10 billion pounds in unused Personal protective equipment (PPE) during the COVID-19 pandemic. Imagine how many care workers they could have hired for that money, or how many care centres they could have opened.

It is on us to keep the pressure on politicians and to make our priorities clear. I don’t view this as a party political issue either, I don’t care who fixes it. It could be the left, the right, or the aliens-from-Mars party – as long as they do what is in our best interest. Currently, it feels this issue has been so politicised, it prevents (protects?) the government from having to act in a meaningful way; and the whole UK population loses. None of us can see doctors, dentists, or get the kind of medical or social care we deserve, need, and incidentally, pay for.

I almost got to the end of a blog post without mentioning unpaid carers but we are one of the biggest losers in the system, and paradoxically, one the main reasons it hasn’t completely collapsed…yet. We’re the scaffolding that holds the system up and we pay for it with our lives. We’re the scareffolding, if you will.

With an election coming up, it is time for all of us to think long and hard about what we want and who is best placed to make it a reality.
It doesn’t have to be this hard

Dec 18th, 2023

I’ve never been good at wrapping Christmas presents. I try my best but I’m not very dextrous and don’t have the patience to create the perfect package. This year, this fiddly task was made even more tricky as I was multitasking. I watched the BBC’s documentary on caring, ‘The Issue’, while fighting with sellotape and wrapping paper.

The documentary follows two families fighting to get the care their sons need, and are entitled to. Their struggles are all to common for unpaid carers around the country: they fight the system for months or years to get assessed, (if they’re lucky) receive a care package to be funded by the NHS, that contract is then outsourced to a care company who doesn’t have the staff to fulfil the contract. So the families, and in most cases the women ( a mother and stepmother in the documentary), provide the vast majority of the round-the-clock care their loved ones need. Unpaid, untrained and completely abandoned.

‘It doesn’t have to be this hard.‘ tearfully said one of the mothers featured. That stopped me in me in rage-wrapping tracks. I teared up (it doesn’t take much these days) she is right. It shouldn’t be this hard. There is a system in place, we pay taxes to fund this – so why is it this difficult? Why are so many families abandoned picking the slack the government should provide but doesn’t?

I think it comes down to a few things, caring and carers (paid and unpaid) are not valued. They’re seen as undesirable and low-skilled occupations, when they should be answering emails for eight hours a day at a desk to make profits for a faceless corporation. That’s a ‘proper’ job. This view is fuelled by our increasingly individualistic society, helping anyone other than yourself is seen as weak, unproductive, and detrimental – even if the person in question can’t feed themselves.

It is uncomfortable to think about; nobody wants to think about getting old or sick. They’d rather bury their heads in the sand and fool themselves into thinking they’ll be able to deal with it when it comes. They won’t. You won’t. There is no help. You will get no help. There are only three types of people in the world: unpaid carers, soon-to-be-unpaid carers, and people requiring care. I implore you – if you’re reading this and fall into the second and third categories- PLEASE make a plan (if you’re already an unpaid carer, you’re likely too exhausted or trapped to plan). Start a savings account- private care can costs thousands of pounds a month, enquire about private caring companies in your area, have uncomfortable family discussions about your wishes (isn’t that what happens at Christmas anyway? At least it will be productive awkwardness.), find out what healthcare services are available in your vicinity.

Social care and the National Health Services are a mess, they’re inefficient at best and dangerous at worst. They are also a political minefield, politicians are not known for their bravery, so they class unpaid carers as ‘volunteers’ and move on. Much easier than to actually try and fix the issues in the system. We need to get angry, do away with British politeness (very unhelpful in this situation) and get this on politicians’ agendas. By writing to MPs, asking questions, supporting charities. Not easy but will benefit us all in the long run.

I realise this isn’t a very festive post, the crumpled presents under the tree are a testament to the anger I feel over this.

I’ll leave you with this Mariah Carey-inspired request: all I want for Christmas is for you to watch this documentary: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0gxptwh/the-issue-fighting-for-our-sons-care

For readers outside of the UK, read the associated article here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-67691453
Another way?

Oct 23rd, 2023

I went to India last week, not for a restful holiday, but for work. After overcoming my care plan falling through at the last minute, I boarded the first plane of my journey somewhat reassured that Grandma was going to be OK and that a solution had been found. I tried to relax at the airport as there was nothing I could do and had a very intense work week to focus on.

On the rare occasions I go on work trips, I try to keep the fact that I’m a carer a secret. I try to avoid it possibly coming up in conversation, I don’t want my colleagues and bosses to think I can’t do my job and, frankly, it is none of their business.

Inevitably though, like all best laid plans, my caring secret came out on the first night when I was having dinner with my boss, my boss’s boss, and my boss’s boss’s boss. The main people I didn’t want to find out. My manager knows my situation and is very supportive. She asked me how my grandmother was doing and it led to my having to reveal my caring ‘secret’. I got the usual surprised looks and the barely-concealed pity in their voices saying how awful it must be and asking why I’m in the situation I’m in. All very well-meaning, I’m used to this reaction and expertly gave my usual non-answers before changing the subject.

I can’t remember exactly how my caring responsibilities came up for the second time during the week, but I was pleased it did as I got a very different reaction. I was working with my Indian teammates, and their reaction to finding out I look after my grandmother was decidedly more positive than that of my American colleagues. They all thought it was wonderful and…completely normal. I found out they all looked after their elderly relatives with the help of their parents and fully expected to look after their parents when they got old.

That reaction surprised and delighted me, I didn’t have to over-explain myself or be defensive. I could freely talk without being judged and we happily swapped tips on elderly care. In turn, my colleagues were shocked that looking after and living with elderly relatives is not common in the West and not considered normal.

I thought about this a lot during my very uncomfortable long flights back to Manchester; what if there was another way? What if we looked at how other societies view caring and how they treat their loved ones who need help? What if we were less individualistic and didn’t consider caring a burden?

If caring was normalised, our society would adapt and the load would be more evenly shared. There would also be less stigma around it; instead of patting carers on the back and driving them into poverty like we currently do, if we all got stuck in, we’d create a much better, fairer and efficient system.

I realise this is wishful thinking, but I miraculously survived a trip in a rickshaw on the insanely crowded roads in Bangalore roads so I feel anything is possible after that!
Ze carers

Oct 12th, 2023
It isn’t often I feel patriotic, but this week, I feel proud to be… French! Oui, I said it. I’m half English half French, have dual nationality and have lived in both countries. I often listen to French radio in the early morning as I’m getting grandma and myself ready for the day. I like to know what is going on in the news over there. Last Friday, the 6th October, was National Carers Day in France – la journée nationale des aidants. My ears pricked up and I thought I would look into how French unpaid carers are treated. I warn those of you British unpaid carers reading – this will make you want to scream (more than usual).

Let’s tackle the ‘unpaid’ bit first. The ‘unpaid’ qualifier isn’t in their title- they’re called ‘carers’, as simple as that. I think the ‘unpaid’ part in the UK, implies we’re volunteers and that we do this out of the goodness of our hearts when the reality is that we have no choice. A small but powerful naming difference.

These ‘aidants’ are also paid. They get paid in the form of benefits that are indexed on the national minimum wage: as of the 1st of January 2023, carers are entitled to 62.44 euros per day and 31.22 per half day (depending on how often you provide care). Yes, you read that right *per day*, not the £76 unpaid carers get *per week* in the UK if they are eligible for 35 hours of care per week. As you can imagine, the UK’s Carers Allowance is not indexed on the national minimum wage (which is currently £6.56 per hour) so the Carers Allowance, works out at £1.92 per hour. Sacré bleu!

According to Carers UK, more than 600 people quit work to look after older and disabled relatives every day, losing their pension contributions for every year they are out of work in the process. Is this the case in France? A resounding NON. If the carer is unable to work due to having to provide permanent care, they will still be able to get the French state pension when they retire. If a carer has to give up work to provide care, they can still get their full pension from 65 years of age (two years earlier than the French retirement age of 67- the rise they were burning bins across France about earlier in the year).

Since 2016, carers in France have a dedicated legal status which means they have rights. Specifically:
- The right to take extra holidays for carers that also have jobs.
- The right to respite, French carers can also get financial help of up to 500 euros to pay for the extra care the person they look after will need.
- The right to an income and to claim benefits.
- The right to retirement.
- The right to receive relevant training carers need such as first aid, help with administering motor skills rehabilitation, how to provide intimate care etc.
To recap, French carers have rights, get compensation for their work, are entitled to a state pension and even receive training to do their job. This list is not exhaustive, these are just the things that stood out to me.

Is the French state able to provide this help because they have a smaller number of carers? Again NON. There are about 9.3 million carers in France, you know where I found that stat? In the French government’s strategy for carers, that’s where! Does the UK government have a strategy for UK unpaid carers? NON, non they don’t.

As I researched this topic, I was struck by how important it is for us to look at other countries for solutions to the problems we face. The UK government should, and could, look to see what they can take from the French system to help the millions of unpaid carers suffering in the UK. We could also look to emulate the French’s attitude to social policy and social care. There is a real effort to ensure the respect of basic human rights and dignity – no matter what situation a person might be in. There is also a lot less stigma around claiming benefits when they are needed.

The French look to us for music, comedy, and almost every TV show. We should look to them for guidance on what good social policies look like… and on how to make good bread!
Go north and multiply?

Oct 5th, 2023

It’s only the middle of the week and I’m already furious. More than my usual baseline (see my blog on being fuelled by rage here.)

I’m furious about a statement a moronic minister has made at a recent political conference. He suggested that people in the UK should have more children so that they can care for the rising ageing population. I read the article, which made me even more mad, he is also considering cutting the number of care visas because they’re not considered ‘high skilled’ enough.

To recap, he wants us to have more kids we can’t afford, cut down the number of care workers even more, and expect us to care for our elders for free. I’m not sure who this message appeals to, but even for a populist statement, this one makes no sense.

He wants to reduce the number of care visas, mainly because they’re ‘foreigners’ that we apparently ‘can’t look after’ despite the fact they’re coming to the UK to work, so will pay taxes and will probably be looking after all your elderly relatives so you don’t have to. I looked it up, to qualify for a Health and Care Worker visa, you must be a qualified doctor, nurse, health professional or adult social care professional. Hardly ‘low skilled’.

We also need them, there are approximately 165,000 vacancies in the social care sector. And this guy wants to cut visas. This is why the caring agency I hire to provide two and half hours of paid help a week struggles to fit that into their weekly rota and charge me a fortune for it.

Among the many flaws in this idiotic idea, is the fact that by 2040, about 1 in 6 of the UK population will already have to balance their job at some point in their lives to provide care to their loved one. They will probably have to give up their job or reduce their hours, losing their pension contributions during that time. If they have to give up their job they will have to claim benefits, and in the unlikely event they the whopping £76 a week of Carer’s Allowance, will be labelled ‘scroungers’ and ‘unwilling to work’ for doing so by the very politicians calling for these cuts. Cutting care visas and encouraging people to have more children will only increase the chances of that happening.

These types of stories are indicative of the total contempt the government has for unpaid carers and the real work they do. We prop up the system and now the government expects even more people to provide the care we’re unqualified to give and that we pay for in our taxes. The only solution is to fix the social care system and the NHS- but that is really hard, unpopular, and will require actual experts to tackle – not power hungry ministers that haven’t got a clue.

These policies will only help to create a nation of poor unpaid carers, which nobody wants. This is not about which political party to support, I don’t care who fixes it. But it needs to be addressed seriously and with a willingness to understand the issues, not make populist claims that appeal to their base. I don’t even care if they use AI to find a way to fix social care – it might also be able to help the government figure out how to get trains from London to Manchester while they’re at it.

Rant over- thanks for reading if you made it this far. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

References :

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/oct/02/families-should-have-more-children-to-care-for-ageing-uk-population-minister-says

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-66998692

https://news.sky.com/story/carers-struggle-to-find-support-for-loved-ones-amid-enormous-staff-shortage-in-adult-care-sector-12835867

https://www.aon.com/unitedkingdom/media-room/articles/caregiving-responsibility-set-to-increase.jsp