If I was called Laurent things would be very different for me. I’d be a man, and therefore, almost certainly would not be an unpaid carer to my grandmother. I wouldn’t even have been asked to come up and help her in the first place four years ago.
Why? I’m not really sure how to answer that, I think because of the bias that exists in society. Women help. They care. And that’s their job. We’re ‘built’ that way. That is, to some extent, the conscious (and unconscious) bias that we all exhibit. Maybe that is true, maybe women do care more and offer help more readily than men. I don’t think that distinction, if it exists, should punish women and diminish their chances of living the lives they want.
But punish us, it does. Women are significantly more likely to provide unpaid care compared to men and, depending on what research you read, around 60% of unpaid carers in the UK are women. This means they are more likely to work part time or stop working altogether, Carers UK estimates that 600 people a day quit their jobs in the UK to provide unpaid care.
What happens if women stopped caring? Think about it. What would we do if the women in our lives stopped doing all the extra things they do for their family, friends, and community? The world would be a much harsher place, with less support and generally less love.
According to Beyoncé’s immortal words, girls run the world. I agree and I would argue that unpaid carers do a lot of that too. We run our loved one’s world. We do it with love, attention, fun, and *very* efficiently. Today is International Women’s Day and I will have a special thought for all the women in my life, and an extra special rage-tinged thought for all the women unpaid carers. These women who are constantly caring, at the expense of their own lives, who are ignored by society, and often driven into poverty. These women who are pillars of strength and support for their families, and hold up the UK’s crumbling social care and health service.
Today will be the same as every other day for us unpaid carers, but I will be grateful that we exist.
And, yes, I know a lot of men are also unpaid carers and they too provide care. In our society, everyday is International Men’s Day, let us have this one.
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