‘Well, the tree is up. Can you see it, grandma?‘

‘No, I can only see some of the lights on it.‘ Grandma answered from her chair, looking cosy in her favourite blanket.

‘It doesn’t look great, I’m not very good at trees and decorations.’ I sighed.

‘It doesn’t matter, it’ll do!‘

‘Yup… it’ll do. That’s the spirit grandma!‘ I giggled.

I’ve been thinking about that recently, I hate to admit it, but I think she’s right. Sometimes, things may not be perfect but they’ll do. This feeling goes against every fibre of my perfectionist being, but I’m learning to accept it… for some things. I run a tight ship by necessity to juggle my busy job with my intense caring role and getting things ticked off my various to-do lists gives me the satisfaction of a job well done – a rare dopamine hit.

As Christmas fast approaches and festive tasks appear on my list, a feeling of intense tiredness creeps up. I’m not a Grinch, I love this time of year but, like many carers, I only enjoy it from a distance – I don’t have parties and friendly catch ups to attend (and couldn’t go anyway) . The extra christmassy things to do are just that, extra work that I’m meant to enjoy doing and get into the festive spirit. I guess I might if I wasn’t already exhausted.

As I think about all the things I need to do, I try to remember that it doesn’t matter too much if some of them drop down the priority list, or aren’t done perfectly. As long as the basics are covered and grandma is well looked after, a dodgy-looking tree, missing decorations, a fuller-than-usual-laundry basket, or even a few weeks without a blog aren’t important.

As a festive treat to us carers, let’s give ourselves a break. Most of us can’t take a real one but maybe we can gift ourselves some grace and learn to be OK with some jobs not being done, or not being done to perfection. As the end of the year looms, I feel more tired than ever and my body is struggling to cope too; I’ve had a lot of stress-related symptoms flare up recently from a painful lower back and painfully tight jaw, to stress-induced rashes to name just a few. I feel us carers need to conserve our energy to make it to the end of year, because only the promise of more work, worry, and exhaustion awaits us in 2026.

I’m told the issue with my tree is the multi coloured lights, warm white ones would make it classier, I agree but … it’ll do!