‘And what does one call you, now? Will your machine stop beeping?’

‘I think they’ll continue to call me Laura and no, I think my laptop will be beeping even more now.‘ I answered, as I brought grandma her lunch.

I had just told her I had been promoted at work. Grandma had reacted with her usual encouragement by saying: ‘Don’t climb up too high, or they’ll want to get rid of you.’

‘Thanks for the motivational talk, grandma, I’m very far from that so I think I’ll be OK.’

This development had been a surprise, and rare good news. As I got back to my laptop, I took a moment to pat myself on the back – it is nice to be valued in my paid work; even if I’m ignored in my unpaid-but-all-consuming other job.

This is not a ‘well done me’ blog nor is it meant to be motivational – ‘if I can do it, you can too’ à la Steven Bartlett. I’m sharing this to show that, contrary to how we might be portrayed in the press, unpaid carers are capable. Caring is a big part of our lives, by necessity, but it doesn’t define us. We’re able to do and *be* other things outside of it, often taking incredible effort and sacrifices.

I wish we were portrayed as fully rounded humans, not just as exhausted and stuck in unfair and often untenable situations. Yes, that is of course ‘the angle’ most producers or journalists want to show as it relates to a particular story they’re covering, but it is often lazy and reductive. And leads to repetitive stories that get largely ignored. Achieving nothing except from perpetuating the stereotype that we’re either benefit scroungers or otherworldly angel heroes – neither options are true or relatable.

It would take more effort, but fleshing out rounded stories of carers as individuals showing how they manage their caring roles with jobs, activism, or as most do, fighting a baffling, insufficient and often incompetent social care system, would make us relatable to the people who aren’t yet carers. I bet they could relate to at least some of our struggles and get them to think about when their time to care will come.

Any journalists up for that? Get in touch, I have cracking case studies for you!