The UEFA European Football Championship, known as the Euros, has started. I’m delighted. I don’t really care about football, I’m mainly excited about the Euro fixtures being on TV making for great babysitting viewing for grandma.

She doesn’t follow football but she loves a sporting tournament of any kind, I think because it gives her an excuse to swear and shout at the TV. Being basically blind she can’t see most of what is happening but she follows the game from what the commentators are saying. She is a very harsh, and often irrational critic – her displeasure mostly based on anything but the players’ performance. She will decide which of them looks ‘silly’ with their elaborate haircuts, she doesn’t like any player who falls over too often, and any tattooed players will be hated on sight. Her strict criteria doesn’t leave many players for her to like or cheer on, she usually likes players who run fast for extended periods of times and goal keepers. She will also instantly love any player who loudly sings their national anthem – they will be favoured despite any tattoos they may have.

Her commentary is mainly shouting insults at the players, irrespective of the team they play for, and ranges from ‘silly bugger!’ to ‘the idiot missed again’. She isn’t patriotic in her support and will happily watch any game, deciding which country she wants to win based on which players she deems to be her favourites.

Her investment in the tournament is great for me as it keeps her entertained and I can do some work or catch up on some chores. For the evening games, it gives me an opportunity to rest after work vaguely following the game to help grandma in case she gets confused. It also relieves some of the guilt I feel over keeping her entertained as her carer. I try my best to keep her boredom at bay but the combination of her being blind and refusing to try anything new diminishes my options. She simply refuses to let me put on the radio or listen to an audiobook as she loved to read. She begrudgingly accepts to listen to a few podcasts while I’m cooking on weekends but that is as far as she is willing to stretch. The 90 minutes of entertainment provided by each game is therefore precious for both of us. I can get things done or sit down and stare into space for a while (heaven for a carer) and Grandma gets some entertainment.

I know this may be frustrating for supporters (and players), but I hope the Euros have lots of extra time and penalty shoot outs!