I don’t have time to write this blog. I have to write it over a few days, squeezing in 15 minutes here or there. Why do I bother, you ask? After all, I’m sure you would survive just fine without reading my ramblings.

I find time to write and publish my thoughts as a way of doing something, to raise awareness of unpaid carers. Granted, I do this at my tiny level. Through this blog and other small things I do that I don’t strictly have time to, I have slowly found my mission. Something positive and motivating to focus on. Not to be too Oprah Winfrey about it, but this blog is helping turn my pain, loneliness and frustration into purpose. Channelling those heavy feelings into my mission has helped me in my day-to-day caring role. I find myself to be less short-tempered or being able to find some joy in tiny moments throughout the day- something I thought I’d lost the ability to do.

My mission is simple: to raise awareness of unpaid carers and the issues we face to the general public. My goal is to help create impactful change for us.

Big stuff, innit? It will take a long time. It might not even happen. That doesn’t scare me, I’m very tenacious and this big goal will keep me mentally stimulated to prevent me from completely sinking into my ever-present depression. Action- through this blog, some media work, helping campaigning groups, participating in research projects, or simply taking an interest in the news, feeds my purpose, and in doing so, diminishes my pain.

It is not easy to do. Finding time to do these things, always having to prioritise, and not seeing immediate results from your work can be demotivating or feel that what I’m doing is futile. Maybe it is in some way, but if it keeps me from giving up on life then it is worth it just for that.

I’m also learning a lot on this mission, a lifeline for my creative brain. I used to be able to come up with an idea a minute for a campaign or a work project, I felt that part of my brain atrophy consumed by caring-related anxiety and sadness. I have recently contacted a few campaigning groups with some ideas and have loved re-discovering the feeling of an idea forming and letting it percolate until it pops into my head at unexpected moments.

You are helping too, yes you, dear reader. By taking an interest in the issues I describe, you are inching along with me on my improbable mission. It will be a tough, frustrating and slow ride but a worthwhile one. I’m sure Oprah has a quote on sticking with difficult journeys. I’m too British for that sort of thing so I’ll just get on with my new found mission and say a big THANK YOU for reading.