‘A rising tide lifts all boats.’ I hate that expression. Not because it doesn’t sound true, but because a big boss used it once in a company I used to work for which led to many middle managers parroting it, mostly out of context, for months afterwards; it drove me mad.

Anyway, I digress. This expression is helpful for what I want to talk about today. This week, unpaid carers and the exorbitant cost of care has been in the news, courtesy of ITV’s Kate Garraway’s documentary about caring for her very ill husband. In a heartbreaking display, the documentary shows the toll caring takes, and her fight against the nearly non-existent social care system. Depressingly familiar themes for the millions of unpaid carers across the country.

Before her husband died in January, the cost of her husband’s (private) care came to £16,000 per month. She has been left in debt despite her considerable TV salary. I took a look at the reactions to the documentary on social media, curious to see what the soon-to-be-unpaid-carers thought. I saw a lot of messages of support saying it was ‘heartbreaking’, that we must support these ‘heroes’ and the system needs to be fixed. There were a few trolls too but the less said about them, the better.

I hate to say this, but these well-meaning messages are useless. We know it is heartbreaking. We get it. It is very sad and good on Kate for using her platform for good. But now is the time to act. Tweeting is not going to help fix this. Heartbroken emojis will do nothing. To those nice people who were moved to share their thoughts on social media by that documentary, here are three things you can do to help:

• Do your research. Find out what provisions are available in your local area. Speak to your local council about the social care provisions where you live. When you find out they are probably dreadful, look up local private care companies. How much do they charge? Do they have capacity? How do you get in touch with district nurses? Etc. Make a list and keep it – you *will* need it.
• Save your money. Assume there is no help. While you’re still earning, save what you can every month in a care pot. If someone who earns several hundred thousands pounds a year can’t afford private care, you won’t be able to either but your savings will help bridge the gap while you’re battling the system.
• Help us help you. You are likely to become an unpaid carer. Accept that. I know you might disagree or don’t want to think about it, but it is going to happen. So supporting unpaid carers will help you when you join our ranks. Support charities, sign petitions, get involved with volunteering, email your local MP. Help us make this an electable issue. In short, act. That’s the only way to make a difference.

In this case, supporting unpaid carers helps everyone, this caring tide will lift all boats. More support for unpaid carers means better social care and better healthcare, which means you’ll have help when you need it.

Here are some links to get you started:

• https://www.carersuk.org/news-and-campaigns/
• https://wecarecampaign.org.uk/campaigns/
• https://carers.org/support-us/support-us

If you’re in the UK, you can watch the documentary here: https://www.itv.com/watch/kate-garraway-dereks-story/10a1610

Outside the UK, you can read about it here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-68656222