I’ve never been good at wrapping Christmas presents. I try my best but I’m not very dextrous and don’t have the patience to create the perfect package. This year, this fiddly task was made even more tricky as I was multitasking. I watched the BBC’s documentary on caring, ‘The Issue’, while fighting with sellotape and wrapping paper.

The documentary follows two families fighting to get the care their sons need, and are entitled to. Their struggles are all to common for unpaid carers around the country: they fight the system for months or years to get assessed, (if they’re lucky) receive a care package to be funded by the NHS, that contract is then outsourced to a care company who doesn’t have the staff to fulfil the contract. So the families, and in most cases the women ( a mother and stepmother in the documentary), provide the vast majority of the round-the-clock care their loved ones need. Unpaid, untrained and completely abandoned.

‘It doesn’t have to be this hard.‘ tearfully said one of the mothers featured. That stopped me in me in rage-wrapping tracks. I teared up (it doesn’t take much these days) she is right. It shouldn’t be this hard. There is a system in place, we pay taxes to fund this – so why is it this difficult? Why are so many families abandoned picking the slack the government should provide but doesn’t?

I think it comes down to a few things, caring and carers (paid and unpaid) are not valued. They’re seen as undesirable and low-skilled occupations, when they should be answering emails for eight hours a day at a desk to make profits for a faceless corporation. That’s a ‘proper’ job. This view is fuelled by our increasingly individualistic society, helping anyone other than yourself is seen as weak, unproductive, and detrimental – even if the person in question can’t feed themselves.

It is uncomfortable to think about; nobody wants to think about getting old or sick. They’d rather bury their heads in the sand and fool themselves into thinking they’ll be able to deal with it when it comes. They won’t. You won’t. There is no help. You will get no help. There are only three types of people in the world: unpaid carers, soon-to-be-unpaid carers, and people requiring care. I implore you – if you’re reading this and fall into the second and third categories- PLEASE make a plan (if you’re already an unpaid carer, you’re likely too exhausted or trapped to plan). Start a savings account- private care can costs thousands of pounds a month, enquire about private caring companies in your area, have uncomfortable family discussions about your wishes (isn’t that what happens at Christmas anyway? At least it will be productive awkwardness.), find out what healthcare services are available in your vicinity.

Social care and the National Health Services are a mess, they’re inefficient at best and dangerous at worst. They are also a political minefield, politicians are not known for their bravery, so they class unpaid carers as ‘volunteers’ and move on. Much easier than to actually try and fix the issues in the system. We need to get angry, do away with British politeness (very unhelpful in this situation) and get this on politicians’ agendas. By writing to MPs, asking questions, supporting charities. Not easy but will benefit us all in the long run.

I realise this isn’t a very festive post, the crumpled presents under the tree are a testament to the anger I feel over this.

I’ll leave you with this Mariah Carey-inspired request: all I want for Christmas is for you to watch this documentary: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p0gxptwh/the-issue-fighting-for-our-sons-care

For readers outside of the UK, read the associated article here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-67691453