I’m a morning person. Or I was before I became a carer, now I’m more of a very-tired-but-my-brain-functions-better-in-the-morning person.

I have developed a ritual to accommodate my morning person tendencies, I get up early and, after I have got grandma settled with her pills and breakfast, I go out for a pre-work walk. I walk along narrow paths and through fields for about 40 minutes everyday. It is usually raining but you can’t let that stop you when you live up North, it is also very muddy and slippery but I love it. I love the stillness of the morning, I feel a sense of calm and of a new beginning – which is odd because I’ve been living the same day on repeat for years now.

I also like seeing the same dog walkers and the little greeting habits I have formed with each pooch I see (I’m also a dog person). I get an over-the-top greeting from Molly the rescue dog, a big ‘WOOO-OOOO’ from my husky friend, and Bailey the dignified Cockapoo comes up for his pat on the head. I love those little moments, it feels like being part of a community, a soothing feeling against the constant isolation I face.

I try very hard to not look at my phone during my pre-work walk. I have already checked my emails and dealt with the more urgent items before selecting a podcast to listen to before I head off.

Having little moments of Zen is so important when you’re a carer. As soon as I set foot into the house from my walk, I’m dragged from pillar to post non-stop until late into the evening; often meaning I don’t have to think, eat, or brush my hair. Music and a wide variety of podcasts accompany me on my early morning outing, more than entertainment, it is the only thing I do for myself in the day. I listen to everything from political shows to silly comedy shows and intriguing stories. I like the escapism it gives me, and being able to think about something else for a little while- and feel something. I’m either exhausted or stressed most of the time. My depression means I don’t often laugh, or feel curiosity anymore. I choose podcasts that spark my interest so, for those 40 minutes a day, I can engage in something that will either make me think, laugh, or feel anything other than stress or frustration. That’s the real reason I love my solitary morning walks, come to think of it.

I didn’t realise how much I valued this early morning habit until now. Grandma has been ill for a few weeks, which means no muddy pre-work walk for me. Podcast episodes are piling up and I can’t wait to be able to reclaim my dawn wanders.

In the meantime, please share podcast recommendations for when I’m able to get back to my little moment of zen!