I forgot it was my mum’s birthday this week. I feel so guilty about it, granted I have a lot going on but it is still very bad of me. Mum was very nice about it thankfully.

The fact that ‘I have a lot going on’ is an understatement of course. I’m drowning. Drowning in work, in caring for my ill grandmother and all the things that come with it. I have taken time I don’t have to write this blog because today is Carers Rights day. This is the first time I have heard of this so I naturally looked up what rights I have as a carer. Carers UK has a handy list:

• I have the right to request flexible working.
• I can register at my GP’s as an unpaid carer (I lost count of how many emails it took to make that happen) and may get early access to some vaccines against the flu or COVID-19. Yippee.
• I’m apparently protected against discrimination as an unpaid carer.
• I can get a carer’s assessment to access support. As exciting as that sounds, I won’t be joining the 300,000 strong waiting list.
• In 2024, I will be allowed to request up to 5 days unpaid leave from my employer as an employed unpaid carer. Joy.

Is it just me or is that list a bit underwhelming? Where is the support that would enable my right to have a life? I currently am only able to exist. As an unpaid carer, does my life hold less value than other members of society? Where is my right to apply for the jobs I want? Despite my right to not be discriminated against, I have had job offers rescinded when I couldn’t commit to being in the office a certain number of days a week because of my responsibilities. Where is the support to help me pursue the life and opportunities I want? To have a hobby? To have fun? To rest?

None of that is on the list because the UK government considers unpaid carers as volunteers. The volunteer label is so insidious because it implies we made the choice to care. That’s a fallacy. I’m a volunteer in the same a prisoner is. I don’t have a choice. We’re dismissed, given a pat on the back and called ‘heroes’, expected to drown in silence while holding up the UK’s crumbling social and healthcare systems. Carers Right day or not, we have the right to be treated as the human beings we are and afforded the same worth.

It is also Thanksgiving in the US today, and I’m thankful for the fact I shouldn’t have emails landing in my inbox at 10 or 11 pm that I have to deal with. I will also be grateful for all the unpaid carers doing what they do.