It is already Christmas in the UK. All the TV adverts showcase perfect families having perfect Christmas lunches and receiving perfect gifts. Grandma is on board with this, her anxious brain means she is already pestering me to order food, think about Christmas decorations, and where we’ll be able to get brandy sauce from this early in the year. I love Christmas as much as anyone but it is entirely too early for me to be thinking about these things, so I have to compromise on the planning front to keep elderly panic attacks to a minimum.

The only things I start thinking about at this time of year are presents and what to get everyone. I’m easy; I have had the same two items on my list since I was a toddler: a puppy and a pony. Very simple. A third item has appeared on the list since I have become a carer- I want my life back. Sadly, as happens every year, none of the items on my list materialise. But I read somewhere that ‘manifesting’ is the new word for ‘delusion’ so I’ll keep my wish list intact this Christmas.

The main question is always what to get grandma, she is treated like the Queen Mother of the cul-de-sac and will get her favourite biscuits, sweets and wine from the neighbours so I don’t have to worry about that. As already described (in this blog) I *have* to get her favourite chocolate truffles so that’s one present sorted. I always like to get her something a bit different that she’ll enjoy and use. That’s the tricky part, it can’t be too different or she’ll reject it outright. At 98, she is supremely stuck in her ways and finds most things to be too ‘different’ for her liking. The trick is ignoring what she says and finding a new take on something she is comfortable with. I have had some Christmas success in the past, I got her a blanket with sleeves last year and she’s never out of it. I have to fight with her every time it needs washing.

For inspiration I took her to our local Marks & Spencers this weekend to see if anything took her fancy. I spent about an hour and a half describing items for her and each one was met with a ‘oh nooooo!‘. There were quite a few gilets on display which horrified her and she loudly kept wondering how ‘folk will keep their arms warm. It is awful!’. Suffice to say inspiration didn’t strike and I still have no idea what to get her.

She, on the other hand, has already bought my present. I discovered it while we were going through her bank statement, she has got me the TV chef Jamie Oliver’s new cookbook. She must have got it when she was out shopping with her carer. He is her favourite TV chef and this is another one of her very subtle hints she wants me to make more of his recipes. A cookbook I don’t need as I can get the recipes online and that firmly cements me in my role as caretaker and cook, not granddaughter.

Looks like another pony-less Christmas for me. If you have any ideas on what to get a stubborn old lady who hates gilets, please leave a comment!